Hi everyone ... hope you all are having a good weekend - especially those who are lucky enough to be playing xo
Thinking this post is likely to be idk all over the place lol likely nothing truly could label as exciting or interesting as I'm sure those who have been following my misfit blog are aware ...
Anyway one thing felt like putting in this post ... I can't believe I actually did the craziest thing - that I thought would no way happen lol I bought a car today lol first time ever have done so lol it's a 2012 Chevrolet Impalla LTX with 55k mileage ...
it's crazy because I was pretty sure there was no way was going to manage it all ... I had a tight budget needed to keep the car and insurance payment(s) within ... lol have a credit score in the high 700s (sorry forget what it was but apparently had them all fired up getting a loan at the monthly payment I needed - and I managed to get full coverage insurance (as required for loan) within a monthly payment I could manage with the car payment ....
not going to be easy but is doable ... no wiggle room at all - hardest part is likely have to quit smoking lol and lucky for me my health insurance benefit will allow me to use that nicotine gum at no cost using the OTC benefit lol but I wanted a car and that is one of the sacrifices I have to make in order to have it ...
as I likely have shared - I have known what life is like idk living the good life? and experienced the lowest - being basically homeless etc. what it's like not having a car (having to bus), basically no family - being alone for most part ... having a car is a luxury that makes life so different when you know what it's like to not have a car ...
Far as messaging goes, sucks lol have to say though that the funny thing is that if I want to continue chatting with someone and I provide my cell# to text me with (or actually call if want to talk lol) they basically don't use it lol to me that's idk weird doesn't make sense ... oh well, whatever ...
I'm happy to say I did make it to the Y twice this week - go me lol not easy, far easier to stay in my comfort zone (apt) ... escape reality by immersing myself in the world(s) of erotic paranormal romance e-books lol could say escape to fantasy land frequently ...
I wish I didn't have the idk body issues I have ... likely be tempted to find a special playmate ... I miss intimacy - I'm not dead yet lol
I get way too many messages stating how attractive I am, how pretty, etc. I was once upon a time but trust me when I say that is no longer the case - I'm stating facts, being totally honest about what clothing can cover up ... I wouldn't expose anyone to this body now have ... and besides pretty sure that even though can't figure out what exactly it is I would hope to find, what that relationship would involve etc. i'm sure that whatever it is most likely doesn't exist isn't possible well get the idea I hope lol
When I did let my naughty twin side out to play idk was nothing like I expected be like ... think the only enjoyable time had was when met a (M/F) couple - hung out with having dinner after messaging and talking with them for about idk 2 months ... I am not into females but I was curious what be like to allow a female to do things to me but I would not be to do the same to her ...
anyway, I guess I just idk clicked with her, she got me ? ... he was attractive ... was fun being their plaything ... light bondage/restraint sometimes ... he was a great cook and made great meals ... we spent weekends at his cabin ... unique experience for me ... only one I don't regret lol so I do know how to play ... just don't think is worth it for me far as meeting any guys for a casual encounter, hookup whatever want to label it ... too cold and one sided not worth the way makes me feel afterward ... that is why I have no desire to try to meet anyone and is why I'm on here just hang out/lurk about in blog community and occasionally post a blog in my misfit little blog here and there, post the music videos or quote items I post (hopefully even give someone something to smile about?) ..,
Oh almost forgot, best news ever lol the house I had to abandon idk likely 6+ years ago and moved here into income based housing has finally been bought at a tax? sale auction lol no longer strapped or having to stress regarding keep the property up to code ... such a relief ...
My son Alex seems to be doing fairly well all things considered ... of course will worry until he's done with this deployment and back in the US ... send him little mom thingys like did when he was in basic lol just to let him know thinking of him, that he's not alone kind of texts - or voice messages ...
This month is the bus tour trip to Rivers Casino (21st) which my sister-in-law paid my way so had no excuse to not go lol always nice time hanging out and spending some time together ...
So think you all would agree I am making progress even though by baby steps in getting myself out of my comfy little cave and making an effort to stop just existing and try to rejoin the living again ... it's a struggle with me basically taking one step forward and three steps back again and again ... but so far haven't totally given up on idk life, myself I guess lol
For those who are struggling with various situations ... hang in there ... you are not a failure no matter how many times life knocks you on your ass and it's a struggle to get back up and move forward ... as long as we are above ground and breathing there is always a chance that tomorrow could be the day/time things turn for the better .... sadly whether good or bad nothing last forever ... never know what might happen or change things ... just gotta hang on for the ride/this crazy thing called life ...
Well think I've rambled on enough lol hope everyone has a good week ... and you manage to hang in there despite whatever life is throwing at you ...
If I duplicate any items ie vids or quote items I apologize ...
lol guess this was one of those novel types of post lol take care xo debi
needed some pick me up type of music lol
5 comments
Hello Deb. May I help you with your groceries ? Her children at school, her husband out of town, she finally gets help bringing the groceries home ...
Stopped at Aunt Joyces last weekend, she grabbed my cock and balls in my jeans. I said "Hungry aunt judy?" Her smile and head shake. She has 6 adult children, cousins. We had to lock up the house and blow my load kinda fast. Weekends suck for sex at aunt Joyces house.
Car sounds great.
Keep with the no smoking. It’s a struggle at first. But after the third month you will really start to feel healthier. I would love to say it happens sooner, but we are both too old to bullshit.
Be sure to keep to the non smoking areas at the casino. Too soon to be tempted.
Keep on having good thoughts. Things seem to be looking better for you.
That's good that you are working out at the gym. Working is great for the mind and body! I enjoy it!!
When I am bound, I find it very stimulating!!
God Bless your son!! I hope he will be safe and all goes well for him!